The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
SEMI-FINALS TAKE SHAPE AS SPIKE! MAGAZINE TROPHY HEADS IN TO WEEK 8
TELEVISION TERRORS SECURE SPOT IN DIVISION C
The Television Terrors are advancing to the Blood Bowl Championship of the Universe with their impressive record in the Spike! Magazine Trophy.
The Television Terrors now have a record of 999-0-0 with two weeks to go in the competition. This unprecedented win streak has allowed them to skip both the competition championship and the season championship. They are immediately advancing to the Blood Bowl Championship of the Universe.
"Honestly, it was pretty easy.", said EvaUnit02, coach of the Terrors. "What you want to do in the game of Blood Bowl is score touchdowns and not let your opponent score touchdowns. If you can do that, you will win."
We questioned EvaUnit02 on how the team could possibly have 999 wins in a competition with only 8 games in regulation play. "It's just math. If you look at the standings, you can clearly see after multiplying by games per game squared, carrying the four, taking the modulus by 2.5, performing a Fourier transformation, and then doing an analytic continuation via the Reimann zeta function, that our record is correct."
The Gazette engaged in a bit of investigative journalism and discovered that the coach of the Terrors is also a commissioner of the league. We asked EvaUnit02 if this was a conflict of interest and presented an opportunity to dubiously alter the standings.
"No.", he said.
Well, there you have it! We wish the Television Terrors the best of luck representing both the MAML and the Old World in their completely honest and fair bid to become Blood Bowl Champions of the Universe!
The Television Terrors smash league records with a 999-0-0 record in a single competition.
REAL AMERICAN HEROES SECURE SPOT IN DIVISION A
The Real American Heroes coached by Dead Fred are advancing to the Spike! Magazine Trophy semi-finals.
The team secured their spot with their 1-0 win against the Television Terrors* this week. With a record of 5-1-0, the Real American Heroes are now fighting for seed placement in the semi-finals.
The White Skull Windbreakers have scored 19 league points and will also be advancing to the semi-finals. However, competition for seeding remains hot with two other teams as well: Elfitus Australis and Cenozoic Park.
As an agility team in a bash-heavy field, it will be interesting to see if, in these final two weeks, the Real American Heroes play for a specific seed in the semi-finals or play more conservatively to ensure they're in tip-top shape.
Whatever happens, the semi-finals will be interesting for the Real American Heroes. They could be facing three other bashy teams or two bashy teams and a wood elf team. We wish the best of luck to the Real American Heroes in these final weeks of the Spike! Magazine Trophy. Yo, Joe!
*EDITOR'S NOTE: This is clearly incorrect since the Television Terrors are 999-0-0. We apologize for any confusion.
WHITE SKULL WINDBREAKERS SECURE SPOT IN DIVISION B
The White Skull Windbreakers have earned a spot in the Spike! Magazine Trophy semi-finals.
The Windbreakers are 6-1-0 on the competition and 11-4-0 on the season. They have yet to be defeated.
The Windbreakers have a single game left to play in this competition and that game is against Clypheous' Nuffle to See Here. DougTheMinotaur has lost only five times in his career and one of those times was to Clypheous. That was in the season two Dungeonbowl.
While Nuffle to See Here are eliminated from the competition, they have a chance to dethrone the mighty White Skull Windbreakers before the semi-finals. It's also an opportunity to injure, maim, and kill Windbreaker players going in to the final open competition of the season: the Dungeonbowl.
Are we watching a dynasty in the making with the White Skull Windbreakers? It will be an exciting few weeks to find out!