The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
EVAUNIT02 ACTUALLY UPDATES THE WEBSITE!
IS EVAUNIT02 OKAY? WHAT HAS GONE WRONG TO MAKE HIM UPDATE THE WEBSITE?
Speculation abounds this week as to the health of EvaUnit02 as the MAML Gazette has been updated for the first time in six weeks.
Coaches have urged the league to put EvaUnit02 on leave for a medical evaluation as they fear this erratic behavior may affect the league at a crucial time in the Dungeonbowl.
"It's just so strange.", said Dead Fred, coach of The Pipstars. "Normally, he'd let the website linger for weeks and weeks until the information was so out of sync, it wouldn't make any contextual sense."
The league assures us that a medical evaluation is underway and should any issues arise, Nik Saten will be able to carry on not updating the website, as necessary.
Despite being able to legally concede, Technobabble Inc. lines up their two remaining players for the final drive of the game, like the heroes they are.
TECHNOBABBLE INC. GETS MURDERED BY A MURDER OF HALFLINGS
Technobabble Inc. faced off against current league champion, Nik Saten, and the halflings of the Dream a Wish Foundation in week 4. By game's end, Technobabble Inc. had suffered eight casualties and a knock-out.
We asked Nik Saten how he was able to coach the team to such a bashy outcome. "The trick is that humans have really weak knees. That's at perfect height for our team. We can just take our helmets off and smash them right in the knee. Works every time. Get better knees!"
Technobabble Inc. has spent 80% of their practice time this week on strengthening exercises. Let's hope they only need to learn the lession once: never skip leg day!
IS EVAUNIT02 THE LAZIEST COMMISSIONER IN THE OLD WORLD?
We asked league coaches if EvaUnit02 is the laziest commissioner in the Old World:
"Yes. Indeed. Yup. Correct. Affirmative. うん. Of course. Sure. Ja. Certainly. Aye. Sí. Absolutely. はい. You betcha. Oui. Mmhmm. That's right. Undoubtedly. Unquestionably. Induitably. もちろん."
We tried to get more responses from coaches but Nik Saten said his single response, printed above, was all we needed.