The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
THERE'S A NEW PIPS PIPPY IN TOWN AND HE DOESN'T HAVE NICTITATING MEMBRANES
GOBLINS GOBBLE THEMSELVES TO GREATNESS
The Goner Gitz had a thrown teammate score late in the second half of their Round 2 game against the orcs of the Tizz Orc Savage Boyz. That touchdown brought the game in to overtime where the Goner Gitz were able to win, 2-1.
Goner Git Awaiwiffit, the #8 lineman for the team, was eaten by 'Makin Friends' Blergh, the #11 troll on a turn 15 TTM touchdown attempt.
When Makin Friends was asked about why he ate his teammate, he replied with "Blergh always hungry. Blergh taught always eat well-rounded diet for helfy livin'. We win. Goner Git Awaiwiffit be proud."
Cobblestorm, the coach of the Goner Gitz had a slightly different opinion. "Makin Friends had to attend three sessions of hunger management training. We only have so many slots on the roster and these gobbos have families to return to. But, you know, we won. So, it's not so bad. Between you and me, Makin Friends could eat Goner Git Helfy as a treat if we make it through the Quarter-Finals."
The closeness and bonding of the Goner Gitz is unparalleled. We wish them the best of luck in future rounds!
Doubly Linked List plans out the game-winning pass for Technobabble Inc. early in the second half of their Round 3 match.
DOUBLY LINKED LIST DEFEATS PIPS PIPPY AND FINALLY FINDS A USE
Doubly Linked List handed-off for one touchdown and passed for a second to lead Technobabble Inc. to defeat The PipStars Monday evening in Round 3 of Blood Bowl V.
Double Linked List is the level five thrower for Technobabble Inc. Boasting impressive skills like Accurate, Leader, and Nerves of Steel, the thrower has been plagued in the past by mockery and derision.
"I used to get picked-on all the time in university.", said Doubly Linked List. "I never really understood the insults, though. My classmates would always say they'd just use std::vector or a simple array instead of me. It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but it still hurt, you know?"
We at the Gazette do not know. What we do know is that random access in linear time is all but comparatively useless. We're glad to see Doubly Linked List has found value out on the pitch!
BRONCOS VS. SNAKES RIVALRY INTENSIFIES
The BoLieve Broncos, coached by BB_Nut and the NC Snakes, coached by Moob, have qualified for Blood Bowl V in the semi-finals and tensions are already heating up.
The BoLieve Broncos have faced off against the NC Snakes in the finals of all three open competitions this season: the Chaos Cup, the Spike! Magazine Trophy, and the Dungeonbowl. The Broncos won the Chaos Cup and the Spike! Magazine Trophy. The Snakes finally defeated the Broncos in overtime to win the Dungeonbowl. The random seeding has seeded these two teams so that they may face each other again in the Blood Bowl V championship game.
Rumors have spread that the nurgle players of the Broncos have been licking all of the craft services food items during Snakes practices. We asked Moob if they're aware of these rumors.
"Oh, we're aware of the rumors.", said Moob. "You may have also heard of the rumors of snakes being on the Broncos plane. Who's to say if those are little legless lizards or perhaps just dark elf assassins? Only Nuffle knows."
Rotten cupcake kisses? Snakes on a plane? What an exciting run-up to the Blood Bowl semi-finals!