The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
TWELVE TEAMS REMAIN AS END OF REGULATION APPROACHES
SPORTSMANSHIP RUINS DEVIOUS PLOT BY COMMISSIONER AGAINST FELLOW COMMISSIONER
EvaUnit02, brilliant and debonair computer hacker extraordinaire, was caught in a scandal this week as he attempted to sabotage the game of fellow commissioner and league champion, Nik Saten.
The genius EvaUnit02 engineered a bug in the Blood Bowl III software to trigger right when Nik Saten was playing his game. This bug caused the game to crash due to Nik's inputs, thus granting Nik's opponent, Moob, a win by forfeit.
Unfortunately, Moob wanted to defeat the current league champion the old-fashioned way and asked for the game result to be vacated and a rematch to be scheduled. After the first attempt at playing, Nik approached Old World authorities with evidence that EvaUnit02 was the one who created the bug in the first place.
Old World records state that Nik said, "EvaUnit02 is the smartest, best dressed, and most clever person in the Old World. It could only have been him."
As of printing, we've heard a rumor that a warrant has been issued for authorities to enter EvaUnit02's residence and politely ask for autographs. We'll keep you apprised of breaking news as it develops.
Pips Pippy scores the game-winning touchdown against My Favorite Team.
PIPS PIPPY LEADING THE PIPSTARS TO THE POST SEASON
The PipStars lead Division B in a tight race with the BoLieve Broncos as week 9 approaches.
The PipStars have lost just one game this competition. That loss was to the Goner Gitz, a goblin team, in week 1. They have 16 total league points and a touchdown differential of +8. The BoLieve Broncos trail by +1 touchdown differential.
The PipStars have been selling out stadiums, no doubt thanks to their #1 skink runner, Pips Pippy. Pips is the first inductee in to the MAML Hall of Maul. Pips is such a speedster and expert ball handler, it's a wonder why any other teams even bother to take to the field against him.
The PipStars face off against the BoLieve Broncos this week. Analysts point out that the Broncos suffer from the gifts of Nurgle, which include shambling and flesh sluffing away. That combined with the sheer crowd appeal of Pips Pippy, it's hard to imagine how the Broncos are going to pull off a victory. We'll certainly be tuning in to see if they can! You should, too!
BOLIEVE BRONCOS INFECTING THEIR WAY TOWARD SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP THIS SEASON
The BoLieve Broncos are in second place in Division B behind the spectacular PipStars as week 9 approaches.
This disgusting team hasn't lost a single game this competition and has only given away two touchdowns. Despite this, analysts don't see how the Broncos can defeat The PipStars.
The biggest concern analysts have been pointing out is just how gross and disgusting the Broncos players are. The crowd is bound to throw rocks and bottles at them out of disgust. Current estimates are that the Broncos will lose three players to crowd-thrown material. Moreover — and this goes without saying — they just don't have the speed, agility, and suaveness to compete with Pips Pippy.
Still, the Broncos seem on pace to make the cut to Top 8. If they can win the Spike! Magazine Trophy, they'll be the first team to win two competitions back-to-back in a season.
We'll be tuning in to watch the majestic Pips Pippy take on the slimy Broncos...at a safe distance so as not to catch something terminal from the Nurgle team. We'll see you there!