The MAML Gazette
All the mauling that's fit to print
FIVE TEAMS LEFT DUKING IT OUT FOR CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE
PIPS PIPPY LEADS LIZARDS IN PLAYOFFS
Pips Pippy has lead The PipStars to a record of 6-2-1 this competition, advancing all the way to the semi-finals.
The PipStars have only lost one game this competition, and that was their Week 1 game against the Goner Gitz. They face the BoLieve Broncos in the semi-finals; a team they played to a draw in Week 8.
We asked Dead Fred, coach of The PipStars, how he feels Pips will perform in the upcoming match against the Broncos.
"I think Pips is on track to perform the best he ever has.", said Dead Fred. "Pips largely cleared his schedule this past week to focus on the game. Other than practice for the game, all he's working on is a unified theory of physics, proving the Riemann Hypothesis, and inventing teleportation. With all of the extra free time he'll have, he'll definitely be ready to deliver an 'L' to the Broncos."
What a light schedule for the great Pips Pippy!
The beautiful BoLieve Broncos cheerleaders cheer on their team as they score the game-winning touchdown in their quarter-final.
BOLIEVE BRONCOS GUNNING FOR CHAOS CUP RUN BACK
The BoLieve Broncos have advanced to the semi-finals and are looking to take on the NC Snakes in the Spike! Magazine Trophy finals.
The Broncos are the reigning Chaos Cup champions. They faced off against the Snakes in that competition's final. If the Broncos can defeat The PipStars and the Snakes can defeat the winner of the quarter-final match between MAML Nightmare and the Tizz Orc Savage Boyz, then the Broncos and the Snakes will face off in the finals for the second time in a row this season.
The Snakes are reportedly taking this finals bracket very seriously and want to earn a spot in the upper bracket of Blood Bowl V. We asked BB_Nut, coach of the Broncos — a Nurgle team, what his team is doing to prepare for the possibility of facing the Snakes once again in the finals.
"I think we win this one through kindness.", said BB_Nut. "If we advance to the final, we're going to invite the Snakes over to hang out. We'll share some drinks, shake some hands, lick some nostrils. You know, all of the friendly stuff one does."
Rumors from various Blood Bowl supply companies in the Old World suggest the Snakes are preparing for the final by ordering full hazmat suits and respirators. We at the Gazette question whether the Snakes will be able to find suits with sizes for kroxigors, sauruses, and skinks in time for the finals. If not, they may need to play a hands-off game against the Broncos and fall back to hand-wipes and face masks.
This may be the first time logistics and manufacturing play a major role in the strategy of a Blood Bowl championship game. We're excited to see how this one plays out!
VAMPIRES RUMORED TO MAKE THEIR LEAGUE DEBUT
Rumor has it that vampires will be making their league debut in the upcoming Dungeonbowl this season.
Vampire teams seem to have changed their strategy as they now have trained their players to focus on various positions. They are now fielding throwers, blitzers, and runners.
Vampires are both strong and agile. The throwers have excellent passing ability and have been studying to gain primary access to three of the four main skill categories. The runners are very fast. The blitzers are juggernauts. Vampires have also introduced vargheists to their rosters for extra murder potential.
With the insatiable bloodlust that vampires suffer, it's no wonder that their linemen are comprised of thralls. This is a team that is definitely tricky to coach successfully.
We asked SBever what his opinion on the team was. "They are fantastic! Finally, I can coach a team with six rerolls and no one will bat an eyelash! No one will dare to cross me! I would stake my life on it! I can't wait to sink my teeth in to the team!"
...we've banned SBever from the Gazette headquarters.